The Alchemist London - Canary Wharf

Visiting The Alchemist was supposed to be a special outing, something to look forward to—a bottomless brunch experience with a touch of their signature flair. Something for my sister's special, 20th birthday. Instead, what we received was a mixed bag of frustration, disappointment, and outright aggravation. Wait Times: A Comedy of Errors First, let’s talk about the service speed. Or rather, the lack of it. With a bottomless brunch, you expect to indulge in as many drinks as you can within the allotted time, like, that's the whole reason to go, right?Wrong! At 'The Alchemist', you’ll spend more time waiting for your drinks than actually enjoying them. It took 40 minutes from the time we ordered our first drink to the time the second one arrived. Forty minutes. If you’re lucky, you’ll get through five drinks in the entire session, which is hardly “bottomless” by any reasonable standard. It's pathetic that they decided this was a reasonable business model. Let’s do the math here: you pay for a boundless experience but end up with a mere five drinks due to their sluggish service. Sure, it saves you £20 compared to buying the drinks individually, but is it worth the aggravation of constantly craning your neck, wondering when your server might actually deliver what you ordered? Never. Never. NEVER. Staff: A Mixed Bag Speaking of servers, the staff at The Alchemist could use a serious overhaul in training and attitude. Some of them were perfectly lovely—friendly, helpful, and clearly trying to make up for the shortcomings of their colleagues. Unfortunately, for 'The Alchemist' others seemed to lack even the most basic understanding of customer service. Forget a smile or a courteous demeanor; a few of them seemed actively annoyed by the presence of customers. What made it worse was the inconsistency in their knowledge. Some staff members were well-informed about the menu, the bottomless brunch package, and what it included. Others were clueless, fumbling their way through our questions, and giving contradictory answers. You would think they’d have a consistent protocol or at least ensure everyone knows the basics of what’s being offered, but no. The lack of cohesion among the staff made an already frustrating experience even worse. Atmosphere: Fitting, but Not Enough to Save the Day If there’s one thing The Alchemist has going for it, it’s the atmosphere. The rustic, moody decor is undeniably fitting for a venue with such a name. It feels like a place where something magical might happen, and for a moment, you might even believe that the frustration is worth it. For one singular, fleeting moment, I had thought that this atmosphere was enough to save the day. However, ambiance can only carry you so far, especially when the service is this poor. The novelty of the setting quickly wears off when you’re left staring at your empty glass (with ice still left in it), wondering if your next drink will ever show up. Food: A Tiny Silver Lining The food, to their credit, was decent. It was cooked well, and I appreciated that they provided salt and pepper so you could season it to your own taste—because trust me, you’ll DEFINITELY need it. While the dishes were executed competently, there was nothing particularly memorable or extraordinary about them. It’s solid, but not enough to justify the price tag or make up for the failings in other areas. The Final Straw: Hidden Charges What really pushed this experience into the realm of unacceptable was the bill. We were presented with charges for items that were supposed to be included in the bottomless brunch package—things we were explicitly told would be free. There was a discrepancy, once we added everything in the bill up, between what we should have been charged. It’s one thing to deal with slow service or uninformed staff, but being discharged for certain items? That’s not just disappointing; it’s outright dishonest. It left a sour taste in our mouths and ensured that this would be the last time we ever visited. EVER!

Nice place with a good selection of disches in their menu. We chose chorizo and cheddar dough balls, we recommend it.,I would like also to taste drinks also, seems very interesting. I will try it also for dinner or lounge bar for sure in the future

Absolutely fabulous place!!!! This is not our first time we have visited and as always, exceeded expectations. We had a young waiter helping us and he was absolutely fantastic in recommending drinks to us!!! Friendly and chatty and funny and made us laugh. I'm sorry I forgot your name, but you're the one learning French on Duolingo :) Thank you for making our stay such a good experience. The place is spotless!!! I don't understand why someone moans it's dirty. It's definitely not!!!! And there is more seating area upstairs!!! Loads of tables!!!! Music was playing, but not loud like in some places. Comfortable chairs, nice decor and the food is faultless. We will definitely come again. Thank you ❤️